Letter To My Five Month Old

Dear Julian,

Today you are 5 months old and getting to be so big. Everyone comments on your plump cheeks and full belly, and you've managed to outgrow any clothes smaller than 12-18 months. You have gone from a tiny lump of a baby to a loud, shrieking, grabbing, slobbering, rolling, wild man. You look just like Papa, and even though he doesn't see it just yet, everyone else does.

This past month has been a busy one. We are as active as we can be during the week, and have even started up our own mom group to have more things to do with other babies in the neighborhood. Besides our regular walks and library trips, you attended your very first birthday party, went back to work with me and saw all the boys, and traveled to Warrenton to see family and friends. Weekends we spend together as a family, snuggling, walking, and taking you out for breakfast.

The big hit this month has been your exersaucer. Almost immediately you could turn yourself all the way around in it, and the preferred toys were soon decided upon. The dragon is perfect for smashing, the starfish for chewing, the globe for twirling, and the buttons for smashing your face onto and trying to eat. That contraption has allowed me many a shower or lunch!

You have also started showing a clear preference for me over your Papa. Only I can console you in the middle of the night otherwise screaming ensues, only I can comfort you when you are worked up and tired, and as hard as your Papa tries you will have none of it. I hope this is a passing phase, your Papa adores you dearly and just wants to be able to make it all better for you. Nobody wakes up in a bad mood around here though, no matter how little sleep was had. Waking up with you cures any grouchies hanging around, because not a morning goes by that we aren't greeted with some gummy grandpa grins and some slobbery kisses.

In just the last few weeks you've become increasingly interested in watching us eat and drink, even grabbing for our silverware, cups and food. We let you try out a Mum-Mum, and it was a huge hit, smashed repeatedly into your mouth. I think it's time to get you started on some food exploration, and I have a big squash waiting on the counter to be roasted up this week for just that purpose.

Some days are still harder with others as we struggle with your sleep. There is no sleeping through the night in our house, but naps have consolidated into three fairly predictable times, so that helps. If only you wanted to be helped to sleep, but every night you will have none of it. It's all by yourself if we catch you at just the right time, or a struggle to the end if we miss your window of opportunity. You've got a big growth spurt coming up soon, and after that I hope to work on getting a better schedule worked out.

I feel so blessed to be able to stay home and watch you grow, and your Papa and I talk about how good it is for you to spend so much time with me out and about seeing and learning and doing. I would miss you something fierce if I couldn't smell your little head all day, or look into your smiling face. I love to pick you up kiss you all over and watch you get all excited, and I especially love when you look for me from across the room, only to smile your biggest smile when you finally find me.

I am amazed everyday anew how much my heart is bursting with love for your tiny little self. I can't imagine my life without you at its center, and nothing is as important as being your Mama. It has really helped put in perspective for me what life really is about, and what is most important to me. Our little family is more than I could have ever hoped for, and I look forward to many more months of watching you grow.

I love you always and forever,
Mama xoxoxo