Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Letter to My 11 Month Old


Fall has begun to arrive, and I often find my thoughts transported back to this time last year.  I think of how big my belly had grown, how strong your kicks were, how much heartburn you caused me!, and how busy we were prepping for your arrival.  Before you arrived I had no idea how transforming your presence would be.  I knew that I was going to love you and hold you and parent you, but I didn't know about the bond that we would come to share.  We are connected by an unseen thread that causes my heart to leap when I see you smile with joy or cry from fear.  I can tell just by the look on your face, or the sound of your voice what you need.  It is an amazing thing to be so in tune with someone I love so much.  

Just today at Babygarten you were off playing on your own with all the toys and other babies, but when your view of me became obstructed by another child you started to cry and race in my direction.  Who know that the sight of me, or lack there of, would be so powerfully important to you.  You are a precocious and independent little boy, and I love that you are so excited about the world around you and want to explore it all on your own.  But I also love that you still need a hug and a cuddle to reassure you, we'll have plenty of time for you to be a big boy. 

Your papa likes to say "I can see the synapses firing in there" when he sees you figuring out the world around you.  Your more deliberate in your actions and motor skills, able to cruise between furniture, pull things off shelves, open cabinets, eat with your silverware, poke Nico's eyeballs, etc.   It's amazing how much more is going on inside that little head of yours.  I can ask you to go find your ball, and you'll crawl off to get one.  You know that "No" means your doing something you're not supposed to be, but that doesn't always mean you'll listen.

You definitely have your Papa wrapped around your little finger, though he is quick to deny it.  You're spending a lot more time together now that you aren't nursing as much during the day, I'm able to go to yoga, or to meet up with friends to paint pottery, or go to the doctor by myself and leave you two to play.  This has given me a break, and Papa the opportunity to strengthen his bond with you.  Just the other night after a bath and PJs, he didn't want to hand you over to me for nursing and books.  It was so sweet! 

You're looking more and more like a toddler everyday, your hair is getting longer and thicker, and your eyes are still a beautiful blue.  I love your cheesy grins, drooly kisses and night time snuggles.  I love when you blow kisses just because, or clap for yourself when you do something cool.  I treasure this time that I have with you, and I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful baby boy in my life.

I love you,

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